32 No shot could pass, if you will take
The gen'ral's word for true;
But 'tis a d—ble mistake,
For ev'ry shot went through.
33 The firmer as the rebels pressed,
The loyal heroes stand ;
Virtue had nerv'd each honest breast,
And Industry each hand.
34 In valor's phrensy, Hamilton
Rode like a soldier big,
And secretary Harrison,
With pen stuck in his wig.
35 But, lest chieftain Washington
Should mourn them in the mumps,
The fate of Withrington to shun,
They fought behind the stumps.
36 But ah! Thaddeus Posset, why
Should thy poor soul elope ?
And why should Titus Hooper die,
Ah! die—without a rope ?
37 Apostate Murphy, thou to whom
Fair Shela ne'er was cruel;
In death shalt hear her mourn thy doom,
Och! would ye die, my jewel?
38 Thee, Nathan Pumpkin, I lament,
Of melancholy fate,
The gray goose, stolen as he went,
In his heart's blood was wet.
39 Now as the fight was further fought,
And balls began to thicken,
The fray assum'd, the gen'rals thought,
The color of a licking.
40 Yet undismay'd the chiefs command,
And, to redeem the day,
Cry, "Soldiers, charge!" they hear, they stand,
They turn and run away.
41 Not all delights the bloody spear,
Or horrid din of battle,
There are, I'm sure, who'd like to hear
A word about the rattle.
42 The chief whom we beheld of late,
Near Schralenberg haranguing,
At Yan Van Poop's unconscious sat,
Of Irvine's hearty banging.
43 While valiant Lee, with courage wild,
Most bravely did oppose
The tears of women and of child,
Who begg'd he'd leave the cows.
44 But Wayne, of sympathizing heart,
Required a relief,
Not all the blessings could impart
Of battle or of beef.
45 For now a prey to female charms,
His soul took more delight in
A lovely Hamadryad's arms,
Than cow driving or fighting.
46 A nymph, the refugees had drove
Far from her native tree,
Just happen'd to be on the move,
When up came Wayne and Lee.
47 She in mad Anthony's fierce eye
The hero saw portray'd,
And, all in tears, she took him by
— the bridle of his jade.
48 Hear, said the nymph, O'great commander,
No human lamentations,
The trees you see them cutting yonder
Are all my near relations.
49 And I, forlorn, implore thine aid
To free the sacred grove;
So shall thy prowess be repaid
With an immortal's love.
50 Now some, to prove she was a goddess !
Said this enchanting fair,
Had late retired from the Bodies,
In all the pomp of.war.
51 That drums and merry fifes had play'd
To honor her retreat,
And Cunningham himself convey'd
The lady through the street.
52 Great Wayne, by soft compassion sway'd
To no inquiry stoops,
But takes the fair, afflicted maid
Right into Yan Van Poop's.
53 So Roman Anthony, they say,
Disgraced th' imperial banner,
And for a gipsy lost a day,
Like Anthony the tanner.
54 The Hamadryad had but half
Received redress from Wayne,
When drums and colors, cow and calf,
Came down the road amain.
55 All in a cloud of dust were seen,
The sheep, the horse, the goat,
The gentle heifer, ass obscene;
The yearling and the shoat.
56 And pack-horses with fowls came by,
Befeathered on each side,
Like Pegasus, the horse that I
And other poets ride.
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